Release Me

This afternoon, The Comedian and I met with his cousin, The Monsignor. We started the paperwork to get ourselves married in the Catholic Church. Which means the Church has to officially release me from my first marriage. I'm lucky in that I wasn't married in the Church, otherwise I'd have to go through the annulment process which is apparently way worse than being simply released.

Although this is supposedly simple, I wish I had known exactly what was about to transpire so I could have been better prepared emotionally.

For about an hour, it felt like I was being interrogated by the FBI on behalf of God. I had to answer all sorts of questions about my first marriage, my ex, his family and their religious participation (or lack thereof). It really really SUCKED that my stupid ex is all over my petition to the Church.

At one point, I just about started bawling. The Monsignor had asked, "Why did you get married in Las Vegas?"

Seriously? Are all those details actually necessary? Shouldn't God know all this?

I sheepishly answered, "I love Elvis, and I wanted to get married by Elvis." I managed to keep the tears from squeezing themselves out of my eyeballs. He didn't flinch and wrote my answer down word for word.

I was about two seconds from calling the whole thing off when The Monsignor changed his line of fire to target The Comedian. Because he's never been married before, he answered a grand total of four questions - name, parents names, faith and intended date of ceremony. Gah. That'll teach me to have a previous marriage.

We signed and dated the papers. And at that moment, it struck me that today would have been my Mom's 72nd birthday.

She most definitely has her hand in this union.

With that, The Monsignor told us to come back in a few months to pick out the readings and the music for the ceremony. He put our wedding date into his calendar and that was that.

I cried all the way home in the car. The Comedian didn't really know what to do, which was fine. I just needed to bawl about the fact that my past transgressions are now on my permanent record with God.

Forgive me Father, for I was naive. I promise I won't be stupid again.