Magic

I had my second birthday party yesterday. And its success was a direct result of a gift I got from the first birthday party I had last Saturday.

Having a birthday that fell on a Tuesday gave me full license to have two parties this year. The first one was a family thing in the afternoon. We had drinks and snacks and cake and presents! I got a gift certificate to Amazon.com from my brother and his fiancee, Season 1 Vol 2 of Glee from my soon-to-be-mother-in-law, and a lovely sweater from my soon-to-be-sister-in-law. But by far, the best present I received was from my darling true love, The Comedian. He got me The Magic Bullet.

Yes folks, THE MAGIC BULLET!!!!

I'm sure some of you are scratching your heads wondering why I would love a kitchen appliance more than my Glee DVDs.

Well, the gifting of the Magic Bullet was The Comedian's way of righting a wrong my ex-husband had committed back in 2006.

A little back story if you will....

I'm insanely addicted to infomercials. My absolute favourite is the one for The Magic Bullet. Back when I was still with that douche bag I called a first husband, I would distract myself from the misery of my marriage by watching The Magic Bullet infomercial at all hours of the day and night. Eventually, everytime we would be out shopping, I would bring up how awesome it would be if I had a Magic Bullet.

One weekend we were at the Pickering Flea Market. We walked up and down every aisle in the place. He was busy spending my money on stuff he liked, as per usual. We turned a corner when lo and behold, there was a display with The Magic Bullet in all its glory.

I ran up to it and practically hugged it. I wept tears of joy, I was so excited to finally see one in the flesh. I noticed the price tag - $50! HALF THE PRICE OF BUYING IT ON TV!!

I told my ex I wanted it. I WANTED IT AND I WANTED IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!

And still to this day, I can't figure out how he talked me out of it. He managed to talk me out of spending MY money (for those of you new to this blog, he was jobless for most of our marriage) on something that I DREAMED about. He told me he would come back and get it for me at a later date.

FINE.

So a later date rolls around and he comes home with a big box. I got super excited because I knew what was in the box!! I dropped to my knees on the living room floor and tore into that box and found...

The Blender 2000.

W.T.F?! The Blender 2000? A knock off of my majestic Magic Bullet.

"It's not The Magic Bullet!" I wailed.

"It's the same thing! It has all the same parts and it was ten dollars cheaper!"

"BUT IT'S NOT THE MAGIC BULLET!" I protested.

"It does exactly the same thing. Come on, let's try it out."

I took it into the kitchen, read the manual from start to finish, set it all up as per the instructions, and then attempted to make the thing I've been dreaming about - creamy smooth nacho cheese.

On the infomercial, they throw a block of cheese into The Magic Bullet, turn it on and it blends that block down into a creamy dreamy cup of velvet love. Then they pop it into the microwave for a few seconds to heat it up, pour it on to the nacho chips and voila! The perfect party snack.

So I took my block of old cheddar, threw it into the Blender 2000 and started it up.

Literally three seconds into it the motor burned out and caught fire!

"THIS IS NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING! GO TOMORROW AND GET MY MONEY BACK AND THEN GO BUY ME THE MAGIC BULLET!!!!!!!!!"

He tried to protest but I threw a huge tantrum and made him understand that in no uncertain terms, he was to take that piece of shit back to the asshole who sold it to him and get every last penny back.

So he went the next day and got the money back, and then came home with a bunch of Star Wars toys instead.

So my dreams of The Magic Bullet were totally obliterated and I never spoke of it to him again.

....End of back story.

Fast forward to a typical Sunday morning sometime between August and two weeks ago. The Comedian and I are in bed, all snuggled up together talking. We do a lot of talking on Sunday mornings, so at some point along the way, I must have told him about my longings for a real Magic Bullet.

So being the absolutely amazing man that he is, he tucked that story into his brain and when he was out shopping for my birthday gifts, he bought me my personal Holy Grail - the honest to goodness, 100% real, often imitated but never duplicated, MAGIC BULLET!!!

Here's the reaction shot of when I opened it. See? I'm TOTALLY EXCITED!

Anyway, my party yesterday would mark a very important time for me. It was my first birthday with The Comedian, the first one in my new house, and the first birthday in a very long time where my BFFs would be able to attend. I wanted to do something super special. I decided to make the appetizers for my guests.

For those of you who know me in real life, you KNOW how big a deal this is. And for those of you who don't know me, let me summarize - I don't know how to cook, and I've never had the inclination to cook, EVER.

The Magic Bullet has more magic powers than anyone could have ever anticipated.

I made hummus dip served with warm pita bread and two dozen stuffed mushrooms. I was going to make garlic bread but I got nervous about how much I could handle and I just bought that premade instead.

And let me just say, all my appetizers were gobbled up mere moments after I put them out. Blondo was so incredibly proud of me, she couldn't stop smiling and declaring how GOOD everything tasted.

I was extremely proud of myself. Making those appetizers was definitely a turning point, not only in the development of my party hosting skills, but in my life.

And here is the proof!


I still can't find the right words to thank The Comedian for making my birthday absolutely magical.

I'm a very, very lucky girl. :D