Monday, August 30, 2010

The Talk

Things are moving swimmingly with The Comedian. So swimmingly in fact, that he has declared we are to be together forever and we are to have very cute and funny babies. But he has yet to say "I love you"!!!! GAH!!!

At any rate, given the forward looking statements coming from him. I decided it was time to have a talk about how we were going to get to be together forever, seeing as we currently live 116KM apart.

I started crying about two seconds after we officially began the talk. He asked me why I was in tears. I told him that I was afraid that we would be over before we even had a chance to begin.

I asked him if he would be willing to live in Toronto. He made a face that looked like someone had stuck a rod up his bum.

"I really wouldn't want to."

I went on to explain that I am not finished living the city life just yet. Ultimately, I know I will end up in Niagara. I told him that was my plan back when I was married. When the time came for kids, we were going to pack up and move back to the place I call home. Even though I ran as far and as fast as I could the first chance I got, I really do appreciate that I was raised in a small town. I cannot fathom raising children in Toronto. I would have a heart attack worrying about them 24/7.

His contract is up in May and it doesn't look like they are going to renew. So I suggested he find a job in Toronto and we could live at my place during the work week, and his place during the weekends. And then when we decide it's time to get me pregnant, we'll move down to Niagara for good.

He didn't seem super happy with the idea of living in Toronto, but he said he would try because he wants this to work.

Yay! We have a plan! The anal retentive side of my brain just breathed a huge sigh of relief.

The countdown is on, 8 months to go!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Wedding and Wonderland

My good friend Sue tied the knot yesterday to Danny, who is a wonderful man. They were introduced through friends and before they knew it, they fell in love! :)

I was invited and was happy to bring my boyfriend as my date. This would be our first official function as a couple and I wanted to make sure we looked our best.

The Comedian owns one suit, and it is dark blue. I had planned on wearing a black dress with red stilettos. Now I'm not a fashion diva by any stretch of the imagination, but I know enough that particular combination of dress & shoes would not look good sitting next to his blue suit.

I began a week long hunt for a new dress. I wanted to get either a steel grey or a dark blue dress. I think I tried on 580 dresses and I could not find one that would fit around my chest.

I was at dinner the other night with my friend LP and I was recounting my tale of woe when she looked at me and asked, "Why don't you just buy blue shoes?"

All together now - DUH!!!

The next day I found the most amazing pair of shoes at Winners! They were originally $60, marked down to $40, and I got another $5 off because there was a teeny scratch on one of the heels. (I fixed it with black marker and clear nail polish!)

On the way to the cash, I noticed the men's section had ties. My eye honed in on the perfect tie that matched my shoes exactly! SCORE!!! It was a little more than I would have liked to spend on a tie, however I couldn't let something that matched so perfectly slip away.

Here is the final result, with accessories, hair and make up.

We had a glorious evening! I almost felt like it was our wedding, I was just *that* happy to be with him. We ate, we drank, we danced, we laughed and it felt like we'd been together for years and this was one of many nights we had the great pleasure of enjoying together.

One thing I really love about him is that he is able to fit right in no matter what situation he's thrown into. We were at a huge Jewish wedding with 250 guests. He didn't know a single person except me. By the end of the night, he'd made several new friends. That is a true testament to his natural charm and friendly nature.

We both took today off anticipating giant hangovers. However, we were well fed and the 6 JD & Coke we each put away had literally zero effect. Which meant we had the day to spend any way we wanted. So I suggested we hit up Canada's Wonderland, as I hadn't been all summer.

I had mentioned this idea to him last week and he said he wasn't "really a ride kind of guy". I took that as, "It's not my number one choice for an activity, but I'll go anyway."

Um, yeah. What he should have said was, "Roller coasters terrify the bejesus out of me, please don't make me go!!!"

But he went, because he knew how much I wanted to go. And I have to give him a zillion points for being an amazingly good sport about the whole day.

I started us out on the biggest coaster in the park - The Behemoth. This coaster lives up to its name. The first drop is 230 feet, at a 75 degree angle, reaching a speed of 125 km/hr (that's 77 mph for my American friends) in 3.9 seconds.

He didn't like it. But he didn't complain. And he didn't complain when I stood us in line for Top Gun. This coaster has a 103 foot drop with 5 inversions, one of which is a double barrel roll, reaching a top G-force factor 4.

Um, he didn't like that one either. But still not one complaint.

We stood in line for The Bat, which was my favourite coaster up until they debuted The Behemoth. This one runs you through it forward, and then backwards. So you get to do 3 inversions twice, with a top G-force factor of 5.2.

As we were waiting, we were chatting. At one point he stopped mid sentence and asked, "How many rides have we done so far? Four?"

"No honey, only two. The Behemoth and Top Gun."

He got this look on his face that I can only describe as pure and utter defeat.

"That's all?!"

I almost fell down I was laughing so hard. My poor boyfriend was so traumatized by two rides that he felt like he'd been on twice as many.

I promised him The Bat would be the last one and he would be rewarded for his valiant and brave effort.

I think he liked it the least of all.

So being true to my word, here was his reward. Lucky for me, he still liked me enough to share.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The L Word

I was at dinner with my friend LP last night when we meandered on to the subject of love. Which isn't surprising seeing as I had been gushing about The Comedian. She wondered if he'd told me he loved me yet.

"Not yet. Although he keeps saying stuff like he wants to kiss me good night and good morning every day for the rest of his life."

"He might as well just say it then!"


She then told me a story of a time when a boyfriend first told her he loved her. It was so romantic. They had been drudging through knee deep snow, freezing their butts off. They had been walking in silence for a while as both were concentrating on just putting one foot in front of the other. He suddenly stopped, placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye and said, "I love you. I just wanted to make sure you know that." And then they continued on in the snow to their destination. Awwww!!!

I thought for a moment of a time when I heard those three words for the first time. And I could not come up with one example. I couldn't even remember how my ex-husband told me he loved me for the first time.

And come to think of it, I'm pretty certain it was always me saying it first. So I think I've heard, "I love you too" but not just "I love you".

I also remember a time I told a guy I loved him after we were in a car accident together and he didn't say anything. Not even thanks. Just silence. And then we broke up about a week later.

If - okay when - The Comedian tells me he loves me for the first time, I will have to absorb every last detail of that moment. And of course, I will blog about it so at least I will have some record of it down the road when I am sitting at dinner with a friend talking about love.

Monday, August 16, 2010

BFF Summit

Blondo & Jelly requested a special meeting with The Comedian. As far as Blondo was concerned, he wasn't real until she met and inspected him. So she'd been referring to him as "The Comedian". Seriously, she'd do air quotes whenever she said his name.

I knew this would be more than just a validation of his existence. This meeting was going to result in either a thumbs up or thumbs way down from my BFFs.

The Comedian graciously (and likely fearfully) invited the girls over to his house for pizza and booze.

About half an hour before their arrival (and a few hours after finally peeling ourselves out of the bedroom), we waited on the living room couch. We were seated side by side, holding hands, looking out the window.

"I feel like we're waiting for our parents to come home."

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes! These are my very best friends! If they don't like you, I'll have to break up with you."

He looked at me with wide eyes. I just looked back, not blinking. I wasn't kidding. If my BFFs did not approve, I wasn't going to waste his time or mine. They did not approve of my ex-husband, although I hadn't bothered asking them their opinion. If they had been given the opportunity to say something early on, I probably wouldn't have ended up marrying the douche bag.

Because of that, I now really believe that my friends and family can see things I can't see, or things that I've chosen to ignore.

By the time they arrived, I was ready to jump out of my own skin. I saw Blondo's van pull into the driveway and I jumped up and ran to the front door.

Tucker went insane the minute I opened the door. So after a good 10 minutes of trying to get the dog to calm down, I was able to introduce the BFFs to the BF.

And then I sent him out to pick up the pizza we had ordered for everyone.

While he was gone, I conducted a complete tour of his house. Both girls were impressed with his level of cleanliness and organization. Blondo really like his basement rec room, as it reminded her of her grandmother's house. :)

Before he got back, we sat around chatting about what I was going to do about the fact that he and I live 116KM apart. I told the girls that in my mind, I have already moved into his house and am commuting to and from Toronto for work.

We then discussed what my engagement ring would look like, my wedding dress, their bridesmaid dresses and the wedding as a whole. Also we decided this would all take place in the summer of 2011.

Let's say it all together now - C.R.A.Z.Y!!!!

We stopped the insanity before he came home. I think we were talking about the structure of the house when he arrived with the pizza.

"Hi honey! I'm home!" So cute eh?

We dove straight into the pizza and popped open the bottle of wine Blondo had brought for him.

And then the interrogation began.

"We've got some questions for you, Comedian."

I started laughing. This was so awesome, my BFFs putting him right on to the hot seat.

They asked stuff like what he did for a living, about his family, why he like the Leafs so much and other general interest type stuff.

We talked and talked and ate and drank and talked and laughed and laughed.

Inevitably, the conversation turned to weddings, babies and vaginas. Because really, when you have three best girlfriends sitting around eating pizza and drinking wine, what else would you expect them to talk about?

The Comedian took it like a champ. He didn't even flinch when Jelly was describing how she told her son the difference between girls and boys. "Boys have a penis, girls don't."

"Didn't you tell him that girls have a vagina?"

"Nope. And I want to keep it that way for now. He's only 5!"

As much fun as vagina talk is, eventually it was time for my girls to get back to their respective families.

Blondo gave The Comedian a big hug on the way out. I was sooooooo happy to see that. I don't think Blondo ever hugged my ex husband the entire time we were together.

After they left, we did a post mortem on the evening.

"Did they like me?"

"Oh yeah. Totally. They wouldn't have stayed as long as they did. And they would have been giving me all sorts of signals that they didn't like you."

While we were discussing, a BBM message came in from Blondo. It was just one word.


I showed it to him.

"See? They loved you!"

I'm sooooo happy they approved of him. Because really, when you've mentally moved in with someone, it's really hard to move out.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Impure Thoughts

I was at a baptism earlier today. The last time I had stepped foot into church was 3 years ago. It was the very same church where I attended the wedding of the parents of the newly blessed little lamb of God.

The priest presiding over mass looked to be about my age. I wondered why someone so young would want to enter the clergy.

Then I thought what a pity that he won't ever have sex (once? again?).

Then I thought about screwing my boyfriend's brains out tonight.

Yes, I know I'm going to hell. No need to remind me.

Friday, August 13, 2010


The Comedian sends me emails/texts/Facebook posts constantly through out the day. He clearly knows the value of communication.

In those messages, he refers to me as his girlfriend. "Good morning, my gorgeous girlfriend!" "How's my girlfriend doing?" "I can't wait to see you my beautiful girlfriend!!!"

My brain sees that word and doesn't understand it. I haven't been someone's girlfriend since 2005 when I started seeing my ex-husband.

A handful of friends have sent me FB messages asking who the dude is in my profile picture.

"Oh that's The Comedian."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

The word boyfriend bends my brain even harder than the word girlfriend.

So I have to practice my answer. "Yes, he's my boyfriend." "Yup, that fellow is indeed my boyfriend."

I haven't typed that word in so long that my fingers don't quite know what order they should be moving in along the keyboard.

Boy. Friend. Boyfriend. B.O.Y.F.R.I.E.N.D.

It still looks like such a strange word to me.

Monday, August 9, 2010


I've been sitting here trying to put into words how amazing this past weekend was. But I just can't come up with anything that accurately captures all of my feelings. So here's a picture that I think says it all.
I have a boyfriend now. And we're just crazy about each other. :) :) :) :)

Friday, August 6, 2010

IT Boys of Summer

I had my first department meeting this morning so I was finally able to put faces to all the names I've seen over the last month. Our team sits in two different buildings so my interactions with about half the team occurs over email and phone.

And of course, the guys who sit in the other building are 1) HOT, and 2) married. Oh and I think one guy is gay, which still makes him unavailable. :P

But seriously, I've never met hot IT guys. They usually live up to the stereotype of pocket-protector-wearing nerds.

Two of the guys are particularly hot in very different ways. One of them is the type of guy I'm usually attracted to - tall, slim build, brown hair, blue eyes, chiseled jaw. YUM! The other one is Indian - tall, slim, black hair and brown eyes.

And both of them wear their wedding bands. But I also caught both of them staring at my chest.

At least I know I still got it.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


My friend Amy B got engaged over the weekend!! YAY!!! :) :) :)

I have yet to get the entire scoop, but I saw the pictures on Facebook and she got quite the sparkler!

Congrats my friend! You deserve all the happiness in the world!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Picture Perfect

This past weekend was absolutely perfect. I really like him. And he told me he really likes me too.