Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Pass Me A Glass

In the last month, four of my girlfriends have announced the joyous news of being pregnant. And one of my girlfriends is in the final stages of getting approved for adoption.

So I've got five expectant mothers in my circle of close friends.  If there's something in the water, I want a drink!

Summer 2012 is gonna be a baby bonanza!

Friday, November 25, 2011


In my Spam folder today:


I would have fallen for it, but the prize being in British Pounds is what gave it away.

Bahahahahahaaaaa. :D

Monday, November 21, 2011

Strike Two

Much to my surprise, I got my period this morning. I was so shocked I gasped loud enough that The Comedian heard me from the bedroom.

The shock is threefold - I didn't feel the usual bloating and aches, it is 2 days ahead of schedule and if I knew it was going to be this hard to get pregnant, I would have chucked out my birth control years ago.

Everyone I know in my closest circle of friends got knocked up immediately out of the gate.

So of course, I'm now convinced there's something horribly wrong with my reproductive tract.

What a way to kick off the work week. :(

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I Am Smokin' Hot, But I Don't Smoke

I have this amazing ability to attract crazy people everywhere I go. It happened this morning on my bus ride into work.

This kid who looked to be about 20, jumped up from his seat and ran back towards where I was sitting wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses with the tag still attached. He plopped himself down in the seat across the aisle from me and yanked the glasses off.

"Is that St. Joseph's Hospital?" and pointed out the window.

I took a look, "Yes it is."

"I woke up and was like, whoa! Where am I? And I looked out the window and saw the hospital."

Then he rambled on about a bunch of stuff, including the fact that he knows the woman who came up with the concept for the CN Tower Edge Walk.  Apparently, she "has an accent but is an okay person."

I pulled out my Blackberry and pretended to be doing really important stuff on it in the hopes he would get the hint and stop talking to me. I texted The Comedian to let him know about my new friend.

He stopped talking for a little while and I breathed a small sigh of relief. The silence didn't last long.

"So when we get to the bus terminal, did you want to go for a smoke?"

It took a lot of willpower not to laugh directly in his face. I told him that I had to get to work.

"Oh. Okay. like to talk, you know? And you're a pretty girl."

Uh huh.  I turned my attention back to my Blackberry once more.

As we approached the first stop at Union station, I made my move towards the front of the bus so I could be in position to jump out at the following stop.

He jumped up and rushed towards me.

"Hey! Maybe we can have a smoke some other time?"

I turned towards him and noticed the rest of the passengers waiting for my response.

"I don't smoke, and I'm married."

The look on his face was as if he had just lost his best friend. I think he was probably more sad about the fact that I don't smoke.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Cut Off

I didn't make it through to the next round of Canada's Got Talent.

*le sigh*

I suppose there's always next year!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Dear Me

Dear Paprika,

I know you're having a bit of a moment, but know that you will be okay. It's okay. It's fine. You're fine. Everyone is fine.

Try not to think too much about everything. That's where you tend to get into trouble.

Oh and for seriously, IT'S FINE!


***This message has been brought to you by a very nice bottle of red Cabernet Merlot.