I Am Smokin' Hot, But I Don't Smoke

I have this amazing ability to attract crazy people everywhere I go. It happened this morning on my bus ride into work.

This kid who looked to be about 20, jumped up from his seat and ran back towards where I was sitting wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses with the tag still attached. He plopped himself down in the seat across the aisle from me and yanked the glasses off.

"Is that St. Joseph's Hospital?" and pointed out the window.

I took a look, "Yes it is."

"I woke up and was like, whoa! Where am I? And I looked out the window and saw the hospital."

Then he rambled on about a bunch of stuff, including the fact that he knows the woman who came up with the concept for the CN Tower Edge Walk.  Apparently, she "has an accent but is an okay person."

I pulled out my Blackberry and pretended to be doing really important stuff on it in the hopes he would get the hint and stop talking to me. I texted The Comedian to let him know about my new friend.

He stopped talking for a little while and I breathed a small sigh of relief. The silence didn't last long.

"So when we get to the bus terminal, did you want to go for a smoke?"

It took a lot of willpower not to laugh directly in his face. I told him that I had to get to work.

"Oh. Okay. Well...um...I like to talk, you know? And you're a pretty girl."

Uh huh.  I turned my attention back to my Blackberry once more.

As we approached the first stop at Union station, I made my move towards the front of the bus so I could be in position to jump out at the following stop.

He jumped up and rushed towards me.

"Hey! Maybe we can have a smoke some other time?"

I turned towards him and noticed the rest of the passengers waiting for my response.

"I don't smoke, and I'm married."

The look on his face was as if he had just lost his best friend. I think he was probably more sad about the fact that I don't smoke.