Friday, June 25, 2010

Staycation 2010

I'm coming to the end of my week break in between jobs and it has flown by. I'm hoping the next few days will draaaaaag out, however I believe they too will ride on the wings of the wind and before I know it, I'll be starting the new gig bright and early Monday morning.

I managed to do a mini road trip this week to the Niagara Region and then onto Cleveland to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The road trip was supposed to be a week long trip to Memphis to finally see my mecca Graceland, however due to some very fine print with very large implications on the car rental, I was not able to acquire a vehicle for such an epic adventure.

I brought along my friend Luda for the mini adventure. We started off with a wine tour of my favourite winery Jackson-Triggs.

Our tour guide was sweet on Luda and gave us three extra tastings for free. That's us trying some ice wine that is $74 per bottle! He must have really thought she is cute. Which she is, of course.

Next stop, local greasy spoon diner to absorb all the wine we had.

We had plans to go do all the tourist trap stuff in Niagara Falls but while we were chowing down on our all-day-breakfasts, it started pouring rain. So we just ended up hanging out at my friend Jelly's house and played with her kids.

Afterwards we headed to my Dad's place and had dinner with him. After which, I took Luda down to the shores of Lake Erie so she could stick her feet into the water. I told her it was dirty and gross and not to do it. But she decided it was worth it to be able to say she's stuck her feet in that lake. She didn't realize how dirty it actually was.

Luda's Great Lake Adventure wrapped in about 3 minutes flat. :) And with that, we spent the remaining hours of the evening rocking out to Rock Band with my sister-in-law in preparation for our road trip to Cleveland the next morning.

The drive to Cleveland was pretty much smooth sailing with the exception of almost getting creamed by a Mac truck, twice. I tortured Luda by singing along to my collection of Glee soundtrack songs. She didn't realize I a) had the entire catalogue and b) it contained over 3 hours of music. And for the record, the torture was not the quality of my singing, it was the glee-ifying of classic rock songs. Which personally I think are totally wicked!

Three hours, twenty minutes and one sunburn later, we had arrived! HELLO CLEVELAND!!!

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is all sorts of awesome covered with delicious awesome sauce. However, due to the fact photography is prohibited, you're just gonna have to take my word for it. We were allowed to take pictures in the lobby. Here's what you'd see walking in through the front doors of that crazy building, starting from the left, over to the right.

We were at the museum for just a little over 5 hours. The exhibits which made me cry a little were Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, Janis Joplin and Elvis Presley. At the Janis and Elvis exhibits, I got down on my knees and bowed before their glory while wiping tears from my face. Seriously. Some of the artifacts they had were mind blowing. My top three picks:

* The acoustic guitar Elvis played during the jam segment of the '68 Comeback Special

* Handwritten set list by Janis Joplin including the song "Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean" (I do that song with my band and I had no idea that Janis had done it in her early career!)

* The acoustic guitar John Lennon played at his bed-in when "Give Peace A Chance" was recorded

Oh I could go on with my top 10, top 20, top gazillion picks because everything there was significant and incredible. I will leave you a couple pictures of one artifact that we were allowed to take, only because it was parked outside. Oh yes, it is Johnny Cash's tour bus!!!

Although it wasn't the trip I had planned, it was a most excellent adventure. Well, minus the sunburn. Always remember your sunscreen kids! :P

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Daddy's Girl

I want to wish my Dad a very Happy Father's Day. He is the only man in my life who unconditionally loves and accepts me. I love you Papa!!!!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Line

Is it bad that I think a 22 year old is hot? Is it even worse that I want to teach him exactly what makes me scream?


I'm seriously considering calling the Russian for a booty call. He's 28, so it's a little closer to where I'd want the cradle to be.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Let Me Know How That Works Out For You

I got a message on PoF today from a cute guy named Chris. He asked if we could hang out sometime and I said sure. We exchanged phone numbers and he started texting me.

"I really like your shirt in your profile picture."

"Thanks. I've been a Superman fan since grade school."

"I like your big boobs too. They are really nice."

"You men are all the same. :P"

"I hope you're not offended."

I didn't respond to that. Of course I'm offended. You don't talk about someone's breasts when you haven't ever met them!

"Can we still hang out sometime?"

"Only if you promise not to keep talking about my boobs."

"R U really mad?"

"It's annoying. I know I have big boobs. Seems like you're more interested in them than in the person they are attached to."

"No I'm not!? I like them yah, big deal! I'd want to date you! Not your tits!"

"Here's some advice. No girl wants to hear you talking about her boobs. Try complimenting her eyes or her smile."

"You're a tad uptight! Bye!"

Um, and you're a DOUCHE BAG.

If you ever find a woman who thinks you are charming when you tell her you like her tits, well, then you deserve each other.

Monday, June 14, 2010

3 for 1

I think hell froze over again.

Since my post about being 5'4", my Plenty of Fish account has been in overdrive. I've had more messages in the last two weeks than in the last 2 years combined. I almost can't keep up with the flood of messages.

The only thing I did was change my profile picture. Everything else is the same.

Yesterday was supposed to be a day where I recovered from my gig the night before. (Which was AWESOME!) However, it turned into a day of dates.

First date was a PoF guy who met me for coffee. He's 28, works as a tax consultant and is from Russia. Yes, he's got the sexy Russian accent. :)

He came to my neighbourhood and we sat at my local Starbucks. (I would have preferred Second Cup but oh well, that's what he wanted.) We chatted for an hour and a half. Not bad eh? There were a few moments of silence where neither one of us knew what to say but overall I would say it was a really good first meeting. I wouldn't call it a date as we'd never met before. We parted with a hug and he said he'd phone me. So we'll see if we do have a real first date.

The second date happened later in the evening at the open jam I go to most Sundays. I didn't even realize it was turning into a date because the guy is my friend. He's also Maltese like me, so we have a lot to talk about that only Maltese people understand. Okay...that's not really true. I was just trying to make it like we're in some exclusive club but I can't pull one over on my faithful bloggers. :)

We ended up singing 3 songs together and it was totally awesome! He's got a really good voice and he does kick ass harmonies. We've never sung together before so it was a pleasant surprise that we could read each other well enough to know who was doing what part.

Afterwards, he asked me out to dinner. I told him I'd have to think about it. He's in the process of breaking up with his long time girlfriend. The reason for the break up - she wants kids, he doesn't, period. So I'm definitely not going to go out with him until he's broken up with his girlfriend. But then if he actually does break up with her, why would I bother investing time in a guy who I know doesn't want kids?

The third date wasn't really a date, but it was someone who's shown interest in me before. The Brit from last summer. He and his workmates stopped in after their shift. They all work at the comedy club which is downstairs from the bar.

While I was up singing with the Maltese guy, I noticed the Brit dancing. After I was finished I went to say hello and he grabbed me and started hugging me and kissing my cheek.

We danced together for a while (He lifted me up and twirled me around at one point. He's a strong guy.) and chatted about what we'd been up to over the last year. Did I mention it's been a YEAR since we last saw each other?!?!

I told him I had to leave and he leaned in and said, "You know I still fancy you." Then he kissed my face again. Yup. Another one with a GIRLFRIEND fancies me. Geez.

He said to send him a message through Facebook and we'd go out to dinner, as friends of course. Whatever. I'll believe that when it happens. I think that's what was supposed to happen last summer too.

For a Sunday, I tallied a nice score: 1 Russian, 1 Maltese & 1 Brit.

I'm so multicultural. :)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

No Pressure

Another one of my male friends recently became single. He was married for 8 years and has a 4 year old son. I met him back in 2004 when he was the drummer for a band that was playing on the same card my band was playing. He is a sound technician by trade.

We've maintained a friendship since that first meeting. Not that we're best buds or anything, but our paths have crossed on several occasions and I've hung out with him, his wife and have met his son a few times.

He's been hounding me to go out for dinner for the last few months. I've managed to put it off up until now. I had used all legit reasons as to why I couldn't meet him - bronchitis, gig, bronchitis, broken foot.

I finally caved and agreed to go out with him on Wednesday night. Originally we were supposed to meet up at Moxie's for dinner, but that place is too chi chi for me. So I asked to switch the venue to Hurricane's. That place is way more up my alley (Yuk, yuk. Get it? Hurricane Alley? Oh, never mind.)

We ran into each other on the street just outside of the subway station and I almost didn't even recognize him. I'd forgotten how cute he is.

I was totally nervous. He made it clear to me that he's interested. He even told me he's had a crush on me since we first met. He also said I'm perfect.


I can't deal with shit like that. Seriously. Some things are just better left unsaid. And how am I supposed to respond? Thanks doesn't seem to cut it.

He drove me home and walked me to the door. He tried to go in for a kiss and I quickly veered to the left to avoid it. I could tell he was disappointed but I wasn't ready for anything more than a hug.

He texted me the next morning and asked if I wanted to catch a movie on Friday night. I had made plans to shop at the Eaton Centre with a girlfriend but suggested we could meet afterwards for a late show at the AMC.

Before heading to the movies, we stopped in to see the concert at Dundas Square which was part of the kick off for the Luminato Festival. Sass Jordan had just hit the stage and he knows I'm a big fan.

"Wanna meet her after the show?"

Um. YEAH! Apparently sound techs travel in packs and if another tech is at the show you're teching, it's an all access pass backstage.

As I was watching the show, he went to scout out which tech was on the gig. He came back and informed me it was a guy he didn't get along with. So much for the all access pass. Gah. It didn't matter though, I was having fun watching Sass rock out. Man, I want to look like her when I'm 48, but I digress.

I noticed at one point, out of the far corner of my eyeball, that he was staring at me as I was watching Sass. I turned to look at him and he smiled. I smiled back but felt a little unnerved.

A few minutes later, he was doing the same thing. Just staring at me. Not even moving to the music, just flat out standing there staring at me. I ignored him and continued rocking out to Sass' hit "High Road Easy".

Sass finished up and we made our way to the theatre.

He bought our tickets for Sex and the City 2. (His choice, not mine as I'd already seen it.) We stopped at the concession stand where he paid for our popcorn and drinks. I tried to pay for that at least but he insisted.

We were chatting casually while waiting for our snacks and I remember thinking it was nice. Apparently he picked up on that because once we got inside the dark theatre, he started putting on the moves. Which made me freeze up immediately.

Here's a list of the annoying things he did for the 2 1/2 hours that is SATC2:

* Made comments pretty much after anything happened on screen
* Stared at me, again (It's just sooooo creepy.)
* Would lean right over to look at my face after a punchline to see if I was laughing
* Put his arm around me and then kept rubbing the same spot on my arm over and over until I couldn't feel that area anymore
* Had to tell me he was leaving to pee. I'm not dumb, if you're getting up in the middle of the film and there's no fire to be seen, then I *know* you're going to the washroom
* Poked my ribcage
* Took his finger (which moments before had been shoving popcorn into his mouth) and stuck it into the corner of my mouth and lifted it to make me smile - TWICE

I was thanking Sweet Baby Jesus when the credits started rolling. I jumped up and said I had to pee real bad and made a beeline for the exit.

I spent about 7 minutes in the bathroom trying to recover from that invasion of personal space.

When I finally reemerged, he was sitting on a bench waiting, staring off into space. The moment he saw me, he jumped up and almost knocked me over he was so happy. I guess he was glad I didn't flush myself down the toilet.

We made our way to the subway and he asked which direction I was going in.

"I'm riding south around the loop and then back up to my stop."

"Well, if you come north with me, I can give you a ride home. I parked at Ossington."

I must have rolled my eyes or something when I agreed to go with him because then he said that I didn't have to.

As we were waiting on the platform, he stood in front of me and just started staring again. I looked him square in the eye and asked him why he was staring at me.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."


"Keep it up and I'm going to push you onto the tracks."

That snapped him out of it. I know it was mean to say, but OH MY GOD he just would NOT STOP. Ask one of your friends to stare at you awkwardly and I guarantee no matter how good of a friend they are, you'll want to push them after a minute.

The train arrived but for some reason a bunch of people had gathered in the same spot we were standing and then they all shoved their way onto the train. As we were about to board, the doors started closing. Instead of shoving my way on, I decided to just step backwards and off.

Which meant another agonizing 6 minutes of him staring at me until the next train arrived. GAH!

He changed things up a bit by poking me in the stomach.

"Don't poke me."

A few minutes later after another staring competition, he poked me AGAIN.

"Don't poke me. I'm not the FUCKING Pillsbury Dough Boy."


Can some please explain to him that no woman EVER wants to be poked in the stomach?! EVER?!

Mercifully the train arrived and we got on. I sat with my arms wrapped around myself in case he decided he wanted to start poking me again.

"I'm just trying really hard you know?"

"You don't have to try. We're already friends. I already like you on that level."

We got to the stop where he had parked and got into the car. He flipped on his iPod and played me a really awesome acoustic cover of Madonna's "Material Girl".

It's true about music soothing the savage beast because I was back to being in a better mood while singing along.

We got to my place and he pulled over to park the car.

"You don't have to park."

"But I want to walk you to the door."

"It's okay really. No need. Thanks for a nice night."

"I know I don't have to but I want to."

One thing he'd better learn is when a lady says no, he should listen and not make her say no again.

"You don't have to walk me. I'm perfectly capable of walking myself. I can't deal with chivalrous bullshit."

Yup. That shut him down real quick. I hate being mean but sometimes that's the only way to get the other person to really hear what you are saying.

I hugged him and he kissed me on the cheek. He tried to move in for a kiss on the lips but I got the hell out of the car before he could make contact.

After getting settled into my pyjamas, I sent him a text to thank him for the evening and apologized for my mean exit.

"It's okay. I am glad you're my friend."

"I don't know how I feel about all of this yet. Up until a few months ago, you were my married friend."

"I have feelings for you. If you don't feel that way about me, that's ok. But I hope you do. No pressure."

Yeeeeeeah, riiiiiiiiight. That text had as much pressure as a piano hitting me on the head.

I texted him again saying goodnight. He texted back wishing me sweet dreams.

Then I checked Facebook before going to sleep.

His status update came up in my feed. He must have updated it just after we finished texting. It read, "Sound Tech is alone."

There's that piano again.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Final Curtain

Even though my last day of work is next Friday, today is my last day with the students as their term has finished up.

I spent this morning watching their final projects for Directing class. There were some good films, some not-so-good films, some outright, "what the hell were you thinking" films and some that deserve an Academy Award for cinematography. No joke.

I am really going to miss this part of my job. How many people, other than film critics, can say they get paid to watch and critique movies?

I am still blown away that the instructors actually want and value my opinion. These guys are professionals in the industry, and they care about what I have to say. Wow.

And the students care about what I have to say. Double wow.

Dang, I'm getting teary now....

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Flame Thrower

Here is an FB email I got late last night in response to some batshit crazy posts that went up on my wall.

RB June 9 at 1:38am
This looks like a pretty harsh posting your "friend" is posting on your wall. Whether or not its true isn't the issue here, but the fact that your friend is saying all of this in public kind of shows you her character, or lack-thereof. She's flaming you something fierce. I would say something, but it isn't my fight. I just wanted to e-mail you to let you know that you don't deserve this treatment and that your friend is a jerk for doing what she is doing. If you want to talk, give me a shout tomorrow, or drop me a line. If you get this now (its 1:36am) feel free to call me. I'm up until 2am'ish. RB

Repeat after me kids: delete and block.

Delete. And. Block.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Take This Job And...

Okay, it didn't go down quite like the song. But I did resign my position at the college this past Friday.

I've been a big ball of panic since the beginning of May when I had my interview. I wasn't even really looking for anything. My brother had sent me a posting from the place he works and that got me onto their job board, where my new position was listed.

I read the description, and it was as if someone had copied and pasted my resume from the job I held before ending up at the college. It would have been stupid of me not to apply.

At the interview, every single question they asked was a breeze. It was all the same stuff I've done before.

Then they asked me the tough question - why did I want to leave my current job?

Truth is, I didn't want to. I really love my job. But there is no where for me to go. Unless the VP or the President die, I'd be doing the same job for at least the next 10 years.

An hour after I finished the interview, I got a call from their HR department asking for my references. I promptly provided names, numbers and email addresses.

And then the waiting game began.

And then the panic set it.

And then I aged about 5 years in a week.

Finally I got an email from my would-be-new-boss asking to chat.

Offer was on the table. More money, full benefits, pension plan, flexible work hours and three weeks vacation.

How could I say anything but yes?

It took a couple weeks before their HR department gave me the final paperwork. I think I aged another 5 years during that time.

In the time since graduating from university, I've never resigned a position. I've always been laid off. I've had a quite a few doors hit my butt on the way out while carrying my box of stuff.

This time, it is my choice. And holy moses it scared me to death.

Once I signed and sent everything away, I was left with the task of actually resigning my position.

Seeing as I've never done this before, I went to Google to find a sample resignation letter. I took the first one I found and personalized it so it didn't look like I downloaded it from the internet. Here is what I handed in.

June 4, 2010

Dear T,

Please accept this letter as formal notification that I am resigning my position. My last day will be Friday, June 18,2010.

I have enjoyed working with you, R, A, D and all of the Instructors. I want to thank you for the opportunities you have provided me during my time with the College.

I will be more than happy to provide any assistance you may require to make this an easy transition.

Paprika Spice

I was toying with the idea of printing in on letterhead, but thought that would probably be in bad taste.

I was so nervous about resigning that I was up at 5am on Friday morning. I got to work and of course, my boss wasn't there yet.

When he did arrive, I couldn't pin him down long enough to speak to him. He kept going in and out of his office. It was much like waiting for a fly to land so you can place a jar over top of it.

Finally he went back into his office and it seemed as though he had settled in for the morning.

I grabbed my resignation letter and made my way out of my office and almost crashed into him as he was headed towards the water cooler.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

He looked at me, and then noticed the envelope I was clutching.


He filled his mug and then made his way back into his office. I followed behind trying to gather all my thoughts and put them in the proper order.

As I was shutting the door, I took a moment and just breathed in and out.

I turned around, sat down and before I could open my mouth he asked, "Is this good news?"

"Depends on who's looking at it."

He just looked at me and didn't say anything.

I was about to launch into the speech I had prepared the night before but my mouth did not connect to my brain properly before it started speaking.

"This is my two weeks notice."

Gah. I didn't want to be that blunt about it.

He opened the envelope and started reading my resignation letter.

"I have two words that come to mind. Congratulations and regret."

And that sums it up nicely.

For my first ever resignation, I think it went very well.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Because I'm 5'4"

After I finished yesterday's post, I had a full fledged breakdown in my office. I shut the door and bawled my eyes out for about 2 hours.

By a small miracle, no one needed me during that time so I was able to lose my mind in the privacy of my office.

I messaged one of my friends with whom I was supposed to attend an MTV taping later in the evening, and told her I was having a bad day and I needed to bail.

She messaged me back inviting me over to her place to talk and cry and whatever else I may need to do to feel better.

I managed to stop bawling long enough to leave work and ride the subway to her place.

The minute I stepped in the door, I started crying again. I was a total mess.

I blubbed and blubbed and blubbed some more about everything I was feeling and how profoundly sad I was.

Somewhere in all that crying I said, "I wish someone would just come down from heaven and tell me why I can't find a guy. If I knew, I'd change it. Or if it couldn't be changed, I could at least accept it and move forward."

"So do that then. Make being single connected to something you can't change about yourself. Pick something you can't change."

"My height. I will always be 5'4"."

"Okay, so then think of it like that. You're single because you're 5'4".

And in that moment, she helped me find peace about the whole situation.

There already things in my life I've had to learn to cope with on a daily basis because they can't be changed. A prime example of this is the fact that I am hearing impaired.

When I was first diagnosed, I was utterly devastated. I think I cried for about 2 weeks after getting the results from the audiologist. It hit me especially hard because I am a singer and hearing is such an important part in being able to perform in tune.

After that mourning period, I accepted it and moved on. I've had to work harder at things that involve hearing, and I've had to develop ways to cope like learning how to lip read. But I haven't stopped living and loving life because of my disability. And I haven't stopped singing because of it. And I will keep going until the day I go completely deaf. Even then, I will keep on singing even if it's horribly out of tune.

And now I am going to look at my single status the same way. I am going to accept it as something I can't ever change. And to be able to wrap my brain around it, I will attribute it to my height.

The next time I start feeling sad about being single, I will remind myself I am single because I'm 5'4".

So I'm okay now.


It's ridiculous how clarity can bring immediate peace.