Monday, January 31, 2011

Truth Be Told

Last week was absolutely brutal. I was damn near taken out by a particularly nasty bout with bronchitis.

After my last post, I ended up with a raging fever of 103F. Delirium got the better of me and I blacked out. But not before yelling my fool head off at The Comedian. Apparently I was ranting that he didn't love me. And I was bawling and yelling that I was going to die from drowning in my own phlegm.

Luckily, the wedding is still on. :)

During one of my sick days at home, I managed to pull it together enough to turn on the computer and finally put in the order for my wedding dress.

However, before I clicked send, I had to make a confession to The Comedian.

I had to tell him about this blog.

(And I figured I'd better tell him before I dropped $750 on my dress, just in case he changed his mind and we wouldn't be walking down the aisle after all.)

I took him into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed. For some reason, talking about serious stuff has always come easier when I'm sitting on my bed.

I tried to prepare myself for a big fat freak out on his part. I hmm'd and haaww'd and got all sorts of uncomfortable before I splattered it out.

I explained to him that I started blogging around 2003, but didn't really pick up any sort of steam until I started chronicling my divorce in 2007. That blog morphed into my dating blog, which then morphed into this one.

"Do you write about me?"

I told him he's known as The Comedian. And that a lot of people were extremely thrilled when we became engaged.

He grinned and gave me a kiss.

Then I dropped the little bomb about how explict some of my posts were prior to meeting him. (Remember Funny Guy?)

His grin drooped a little.

"I don't want to read about you being with other men."


I asked him if he wanted the link. He just shrugged. I suppose if and when the time comes, he'll ask me for it.

I kissed his sweet face and then happliy skipped back to the computer and clicked send on my dress order.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Bed Bugs

The Comedian and I were both bed ridden yesterday. I've got bronchitis and he's got the flu.

My poor fiance was running a fever of 101F. He had the chills so bad his entire body was shaking uncontrollably.

Last night was a fitful one of coughing from both of us.

Around 3am he rolled over and croaked, "How are you feeling baby?"

I moaned, "Not the greatest."

We kissed, rolled over, and continued our cough fest well into the morning.

In spite of how sick he is, he still dragged himself out of bed to drive me to the bus station this morning.

I have to make sure to include that only one of us can be sick at a time during the "in sickness and in health" part of our wedding vows.


Monday, January 17, 2011

Land of Thai

Mrs. Magnolia is happily frolicking with elephants and climbing mountains. To follow her adventures, here's a link to her blog:

After the morning I've had, I really wish I was on the other side of the world.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

First Meltdown

It was a matter of when, not if, I would have a big fat freak out in my new home.

Since our first weekend together, we vowed we would always have Lazy Sunday (unless of course, there is some family function we have to attend). Lazy Sunday consists of exactly that, laziness. We get up late, stay in our PJs for as long as humanly possible, and relax until we are so stress free we could float away on a cloud.

So this morning was no different than any of the other 25 Sundays we've had together. It was wonderful and relaxing and lovely and warm and fuzzy.

We finally decided to get up and have breakfast around noon. Again, nothing unusual. We were debating between pancakes and omelettes. I opened the fridge to see what was there. I rooted around and found a tupperware container with three pizza slices from a Rock Band party we had last weekend with my brother and sister-in-law.

Seeing as there were only three eggs left, I decided to let him have the eggs and I would have the pizza. Just so you all know, I love pizza in one of three ways:

1. Piping hot, fresh from the delivery place.
2. The next morning after I've left it on the counter over night.
3. Reheated in the oven a few days later.

I do NOT like pizza that has been microwaved. It gets too smooshy for my liking and kinda makes me wanna barf in my own mouth.

So I asked The Comedian if he could help me turn on the oven to reheat my pizza. I still do not know how to work his oven.

"Why are you going to heat up the oven for three little pieces of pizza?"

"Because I want to heat them up."

"Just use the microwave."

"I don't like it in the microwave."

"You can't use that much electricity for three tiny pieces of pizza."

And that was it. I ran into the bedroom, threw myself on the bed and started to bawl my eyes out.

The Comedian followed a few minutes later when he realized what was happening. He was very shocked to see me in such a state.

"Why are you crying?"

The floodgates open and I started to wail about not being allowed to use the oven when I want, not feeling like I'm in my own space, not knowing how to work any of the appliances, not being allowed to keep the heat turned up, not knowing the satellite channels, not having my TiVo hooked up to record my shows, not knowing how to drive from the house to my brother's place in Welland, not having a vet for my cat, not having a nail salon to get a pedicure and not having a life now that I'm having to chase down a bus to get home at night.

Yeah. I guess I've been feeling all these things, but it wasn't until the pizza that I realized how I was feeling.

The Comedian did his best to calm me down. I cried and sobbed and moaned until the tears dried up.

We talked and he understood why I was upset. But he still didn't understand why I had to heat up my pizza in a big oven. He suggested making cupcakes along side reheating the pizza. I think that was a good solution for heating up the oven.

He also suggested we start hanging up some of my framed pictures around the house and that we would dig out the manual for the TiVo and hook it up so I don't miss any more of my soaps.

He's such a good man. I am grateful that I can feel what I'm feeling, and he's right there to help me through it.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Costume Fitting

Today would have been my 5th wedding anniversary. In honour of the occasion, I tried on my wedding dress, just to see if it still fits.

To my absolute delight, it still fits perfectly - except in the chest. I think my boobs are probably at least a full cup size larger. At this rate, they'll probably be at my knees by 2016.

The Comedian helped me with the zipper and I managed to mash my boobs into it.

"You look gorgeous!"

Awwww. :)

I love that he isn't at all freaked out by the fact that I was trying on my former wedding dress. He sees it the same way I do - a really pretty dress that I happen to have worn when pledging my life long commitment to another man.

Ha! Yet another reason why The Comedian is totally awesome.

After doing a few twirls, I pulled it off and put it back into its bag.

It's such a great dress. Too bad I actually can't wear it anymore. I've put it downstairs in the basement with the rest of my costumes. We've got a closet dedicated to all my Halloween costumes. I've dubbed it "The Costume Shoppe". Yes, shoppe - like an old tyme shoppe.

So if anyone ever needs a really great floor-length red satin dress, I've got one you can totally wear. As long as your boobs are as big as mine were in 2006.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

What A Difference A Year Makes

I was just reading some of my posts from January 2010 and I can't believe how different things are.

I know things change, but usually it's so gradual you hardly notice.

But holy crappo, a mere 12 months ago my life was completely d.i.f.f.e.r.e.n.t. Mr. David anyone? Wow.

The one thing that hasn't changed, which I am very happy to report, is that I'm still a Size 10. And those brown cords are going strong! I wore them yesterday in fact. :)

One thing that is changing that I'm about ready to bawl my eyes out over is that Mrs. Magnolia and her hubby are taking off for Thailand tonight. For SIX MONTHS. I'm super happy they have this amazing opportunity, but I'm super upset because she and I talk like 18 times a day.

There is a slight chance they may stay there for good. However, I'm hoping they can come back at least for my wedding. She's slated to do my make-up after all.

Our motto last year was "Try Again in 2010". And amazingly, I got everything I wanted. Except the damn flat screen TV. :D

This year my motto is most definitely, "2011 Is Heaven".

For the first time in a long time, I'm excited for what the next 12 months shall bring.

Happy New Year!