Wednesday, September 15, 2010


I just spent the last hour deleting 1380 emails from my ex-husband. I stopped to read a few here and there and all that did was trigger feelings of anger, shame and hurt. Even with three years of space, the feelings were just as raw and intense as when they first happened.

Which is why getting rid of that shit is a good thing.

I kept about 80 emails that pertain directly to our divorce and a few that are outright blackmail on his part. He still owes me $500 from the divorce, as per the court order. I'll never see that money, but at least I have proof that he acknowledged the debt and I tried several times to collect. The blackmail emails are a nice insurance policy should he ever try to pull anything in the future. Which, knowing how completely psychotic he can be, is entirely within the realm of possibility.

I also really need to go through my closets and drawers to make sure anything related to him gets thrown out. I still have quite a bit of stuff from our wedding, although I had torn up my wedding scrapbook into a million tiny pieces about a year ago. That was therapeutic to say the least.

The Comedian is coming up for the weekend for the first time, and I want to make sure he doesn't inadvertently come across anything to do with my ex.

I am so ready to start this new chapter of my life. I can finally see the light.

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