Saturday, February 20, 2010

Okay Really?

A friend of mine has a matchmaking service and she sent me along a picture of a guy and asked if I'd be interested. I said sure. She sent him mine, and he was all sure. And then this happened:

From: H
To: Paprika
Sent: Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 12:58 PM

Hi Paprika,

Just wanted to say hi and hope you've started a great day. I came back to Toronto after living in Detroit for 10 years. How long have you been here? What type of music do you play/listen to? I live currently close to hwy 404 & 401. Where about in T.O do you live? I'll leave it at this but I'd like to get to know you more and make plans to meet. Until then, do you prefer to chat online or talk on the phone?


p.s. Happy belated Birthday :)

From: Paprika
To: H
Sent: Fri, February 12, 2010 1:20:25 PM

Hey H,

Thanks for the email and the belated birthday wishes. :)

Detroit eh? Wow! How was it living there? Everything I've ever heard about Detroit is that it's a rough city. I live in midtown, been here for over 10 years. I moved here after I finished my degree. I grew up in Niagara, which where my father, brothers and the majority of my childhood friends still live. I try to get down there at least once a month. It always feels like a mini vacation when I go there because the pace is just so slow compared to here.

So how do you know C? For now let's chat via email and then we'll take it from there. Hope you have a good weekend.

Paprika :)

From: H
To: Paprika
Sent: Sat, Feb 13, 2010 at 9:20 AM

Hi P,

Most people live in Detroit suburbs. I bought my condo back in 2002 and was able to rent it out last summer. Despite your impression of the Motor city, it has changed in the last few years. However, more and more people moved out of Southeast Michigan in the last 5-7 years as you can imagine with the downturn of auto sector.

Niagara huh? small town life, like a motion picture at a slow pace! I don't mind visiting but actually living there would not do it for me. I like to feel the city life.

I am on and C had a matchmaking group which I signed up for there. What about you?

As far as emailing, I don't think you can get to know someone through that and it takes too long. I usually meet people after 1 or 2 chat or phone talks to see if there's a chemistry. My several last experiences with email took over a month (they lived 6 blocks from my house !) and when I met them there was not enough chemistry.

So, I don't want to go down that path again. Plus, on email AND chat, there is potential misinterpretation since you don't see the other person's face or hear their voice. So, let me know if this works for you. If you're not comfortable with other than email, I would understand and it's cool ! Have a good weekend


From: Paprika
To: H
Sent: Wed, February 17, 2010 3:02:37 PM

Hey H,

My apologies for the long delay in responding. I had a friend fly in from Winnipeg for the long weekend so we spent the better part of three days running around and doing as much as possible with the time she had here. We managed to hit the Auto Show which was really cool. She sat in a Corvette. I sat in a Mini Cooper. LOL.

Anyway, with regards to talking/chatting/email etc, I'd like to exchange a few more emails before moving the conversation to the phone. I agree, in not investing too much time online as the only way to really get to know a person is to meet them in person. :)

How was your weekend?
P :)

From: H
To: Paprika
Date: Sat, Feb 20, 2010 at 1:14 PM

Hi Paprika, I don't think emailing would work for me for the reasons I mentioned before. However, I like to wish you good luck in your search. H

Okay, so how did I manage to get dumped before this ever even had a chance to start? Honestly, I want to bang my face against a wall. SERIOUSLY DUDE?!

Here's a tip for you H. Don't give someone the option if you don't want them to choose that option.

In his first email, he was the one who asked, "Until then, do you prefer to chat online or talk on the phone?" I picked online. Apparently, that was the wrong answer.

What he should have done was given me his phone number and said, "I'd love to talk in person, here's my number. When you're ready, give me a call."

It's no wonder he's still single.


  1. I can tell from the undertone of your emails that you are smart and sassy. I can tell from the undertone of his emails that he has no sense of humor and at least slightly stupid.

    I think you are lucky to have been "dumped," since it would have been a huge waste of your time to have met up with this guy.

  2. I think if it were me, I would have written back and said something along the lines of finding a compromise. it's not like you were saying you wanted to email for 6 months first or something, I don't think you gave that impression at all. But putting your voice out there and meeting up for blind dates is hard, it makes a person vulnerable, especially I think for women. He should have been a bit more understanding. I don't like how he just cut you off like that for really no good reason. It's not like you two had a disagreement on anything really fundamental in a relationship. It isn't even like you asked for anything exclusive during this email exchange. What an odd duck. Is it too late to write him back though? Just in case he isn't a nutso? See about a compromise?

    ps. have you been to yet? soooo funny

  3. Yikes, actually I think it was a complete misunderstanding (just as he feared would happen through typing).
    The two options he asked you were chatting over the phone or "chatting" online like instant messenger chatting! I think he felt email is too slow to get to know eachother (kind of in the way that you were busy for a few days and couldn't get back to him). So an actual conversation ends up taking weeks!
    Just my interpretation.