Why Do I Suck?

I had a grand plan of asking Mr. David for his email address tonight, so that I could send him a link to the pictures from the Ball.

I went to class a bit early so I could practice the insane Cha-Cha/Salsa for Showcase class. He was there, of course, as usual, twirling around. (God, doesn't he get bored with the Waltz?)

He came over and said hello and asked me how my day went. I told him it was better than last week because no one was trying to burn down the school. He laughed. I asked him how his day was and he said it was okay.

He commented on the fact that my iPod was bigger than his. I told him I had to have at least one thing that's better than him. He asked me specs about my Pod. Then off he twirled.

I went over to my own corner and for the next 20 minutes, proceeded to look like a complete idiot. The choreography for Showcase is bloody freaking fast. And it's wickedly difficult to do it without a partner. I did a lot of smashing my foot down in frustration.

In between my hissy fits, David came back over to me. He had his iPod out again.

"Did you hex me?"

"What?"

"My iPod won't play anything anymore."

"Yes David, it's totally my fault. I have those magical powers to break iPods."

I spent the next few minutes trying to help him. When he handed me the Pod, our fingers touched and continued to touch as I was fiddling with it and he was trying to show me stuff on it. I declared his Pod officially a brick. He said he'd try to fix it at home. And off he twirled.

I went back to being frustrated with the choreography for Showcase. I gave up about 5 minutes later and sat down.

He noticed and came over. He motioned for me to join him on the dance floor.

"Let's swing."

"Okay."

And into some East Coast Swing we went. Normally I am super excited to swing because I love the dance. But at this point, I was tired and frustrated from that damn Cha-Cha, so my frame was sloppy and I was dragging my feet. And I was backleading, which is a big no-no.

"I'm the one who's leading here."

"I know! I'm sorry. I'm just tired from practicing the choreography for Showcase."

"That's Mark's class right?"

"Yes. It's insanely difficult and even harder to do without a partner."

We did some more swinging and he showed me a few fancier moves. He kinda gave up on me as I was not being a receptive follower.

"Do you Tango?"

"Um, sure. I guess so."

He laughed.

"You know I always answer the same way when you ask me those questions."

We got into dance hold and again, my frame was complete shit. We tangoed a little bit and then all of a sudden, he just left me standing there and made his way across the studio to greet the little old lady who rocks the polyester shirts.

I was kind of stunned he'd just leave me like that. Yes, I know I was cranky and backleading and generally being poopy, but COME ON. I walked over to the water cooler and I kind of glared at him. He muttered something like, "Sorry I was just..." but I stopped paying attention.

When class finally started, I was too defeated to really care. I got to dance with him twice in rotation. Big whoop.

Tonight, I noticed he bears a striking resemblance to my ex-husband. And that freaked me out for the duration of class. Let's compare and contrast shall we? Mr. David is on the left. Asshole ex-husband is on the right.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I've been there, done that.

Right at the end of class, I left. I didn't ask him for his email address or even say goodnight. Instead I found E and we went across the street to McDonald's where I scarfed down a cheeseburger to drown my sorrows.

I asked E to email him with my email address so that if he wants, he can email me. We'll see what happens.

All I know is I suck. And I'm really hating that feeling.