Why Didn't I Wear Black?

The Formation dance class I was supposed to take on Tuesday got cancelled, and with it, my guaranteed weekly gawking at Mr. David.

I was given the option of signing up for Styling & Techniques on Wednesdays or Showcase on Fridays. I told the nice lady at my dance school that I would do the Wednesday class for now, but I wanted to drop in on the Friday class before making a final decision.

I found out that the S&T class is taught by David's dance partner Nicole. I figured my chances of seeing him again would be better if I got into Nicole's class.

I came home from work, had a little bit of dinner and changed into brown cords (yes, those brown cords), a white tank top and a little gray sweater. I thought I looked casual but cute. I put on some mascara and brushed my hair and teeth. Then I said a little prayer to Sweet Baby Jesus asking him to bring David to me and headed out.

My class was being held in the upstairs studio, which is absolutely gorgeous. The main lights are kept pretty dim, and there are dozens of twinkling white lights hanging from the ceiling. All of the furniture is made out of gorgeous dark wood which gives the whole room a very cozy and warm feel. It was all dreamy and romantic as I walked into the space.

And there he was. *sigh*

He was twirling around by himself in a perfect dance hold, same as always. I said a mental thanks to SBJ for answering my prayer.

For a while, it looked like I was going to be the only one in class. But literally at one minute to the start of class, six more people walked in.

I noticed that everyone was paired off. I was the only one without a partner. And as I was noticing this, I also noticed that Nicole had gone over to speak to David. And then David started making his way over to our side of the studio. Which meant she had asked him to join in the class to be my partner. And that's when I started to panic. As I have mentioned in previous posts, David is a freaking superstar dancer. And I am ridiculously awkward.

Another thing I noticed was that all of the women were a Size 0, or less, if that's even possible. And they were all wearing black which made them practically disappear in the low lighting. I looked in the mirror standing next to David and suddenly I felt like a glowing elephant. White really shines even when low light hits it. And I swear I could see the cellulite on my thighs through my cords.

Nicole started the choreography for a waltz. Ugh. I missed waltz class while I was in Oz. However, the beginning seemed simple enough. A side-by-side grapevine.

One, two, three. One, two, three. Easy. I didn't trip or do anything dumb. Good start.

Then we joined hands into an explosion. I love saying that. All it means is we swept our free arms up, over our heads, and out to the side. But the tough part for me was HOLDING DAVID'S HAND.

I noticed he had a very light touch. And there was a bit of a callous on his palm, just under his middle finger. I hope he didn't notice how badly my hand was shaking.

Then the ladies supposed to twirl in towards their partner and continue around into a perfect waltz hold.

HA! Yeah. Did I mention how awkward I am?

David pulled me in and I twirled and crashed into him. There I was, trying to be graceful and light on my feet, and all I managed to do was provide further evidence that I am indeed an elephant.

He smiled at me and apologized. I looked up at him and mumbled my own apology. We got into proper dance hold and then started to waltz.

(Just to let you all know, the memory of this is making my heart thump wildly.)

In that first step, I almost fainted. I honestly had been dreaming about this for months. He is a strong leader but with a very light hold. His frame is delicious. I could have died right there in his arms.

We did the combination a few more times and my twirling got a little bit better. At one point while we were in hold, he looked down at me, wiggled his eyebrows and smiled at me. I totally turned into a little school girl and giggled. I'm such a DORK.

Then Nicole taught us the next part of the choreography. After showing us the steps, she took a few minutes to explain to us that the waltz is a romantic dance. We should look at our partners lovingly, like we were having the most beautiful and romantic Valentine's Day.

Well I knew I wouldn't have any problem with that. Up until then, I was trying my hardest not to look like a lovestruck goon.

So we danced the second part of the choreography which involved more hand holding. At the end of the combination I asked him what he thought and he said, "Good, except you need to work more on the emotion of the dance."

Seriously? I thought for sure he'd be scared of how in love I looked!

Then it was all over, because Nicole made us switch partners. I didn't get a chance to rotate back to him before the end of class.

And once class was finished, I ran away. I felt like such an idiot. I wasn't graceful, I wasn't emoting properly, and I couldn't think of ANYTHING to say to him. I didn't even wish him a Happy New Year. I had my chance to strike up a conversation with him and I totally blew it.

Now I'm torn. Do I stay in S&T or sign up for Showcase? I really want to be in a class where I can work on becoming more graceful. I also want to be in a class with him. But that would mean putting my awkwardness on display every week. Which would probably work against me in the whole plan to convince him he's in love with me.

All I am certain of is that I will be wearing black to dance class from now on.