Monday, March 29, 2010

Up Chuck

Twenty minutes and three stitches later, my lump was sitting on some gauze on the rolling surgical cart.

"Can I keep it?"

"No. We're sending it to the lab for testing."

And now ladies and gentlemen, introducing to you, in living colour, my sebaceous cyst. I have named him Chuck.

I still cannot believe that thing lived in my neck for almost 5 years. It's amazing how your body does pretty much whatever the hell it wants.

I'm certain it's nothing to worry about. I googled images of sebaceous cysts and mine looked very similar to the ones that were coming up in the search results. Well, except for a couple of really gross ones that I won't bother to disgust you with.

The local anesthetic lasted for several hours so I didn't experience any pain until I was about half way through my dance class tonight. Then it got really tender, really fast.

But I had Mr. David's beautiful face to focus on. I spent a lot of time dancing with him tonight! And the best part was that I got to dance the Mambo to "Johnny's Mambo" from Dirty Dancing! WOOOOO!!!

When my instructor started the music, I recognized it immediately and I let out a squeal of delight!

It was so totally awesome to dance to that song with Mr. David. Our chemistry was off the charts! So much so that I *almost* asked him out after class.

But the pain in my neck was literal and I hadn't washed my hair this morning due to a water heater malfunction at my Dad's house. There was exactly 5 minutes of hot water to be had for a shower, so I had to forego the 10 minutes it would have taken to wash my hair and concentrated solely on areas that my doctor would be inspecting.

I'm getting closer to asking him out. Now that I have a shiny new scar instead of a crazy ugly lump in my neck, I feel a little more confident in myself. If it ever got to the point where he was going to lean in for a kiss by gently placing his hand on the back of my neck, I know he won't reel back in horror by bumping into Chuck.

Thanks for the memories Chuck. I and my love life certainly won't miss you. Now be a good boy and test negative for cancer okay? Oh, and while you're at the lab, can you please check in on my pap and make sure it comes back negative too? Thanks, you're a pal.

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